When I started this blog, I had good intentions and high hopes. Just like that little ant who wanted to move the rubber tree plant, my expectations that I would engage follows from far and near. Just like past new year resolutions, well, broken even before the ink dried.
So "here I am again Lord, it's me Patti remember?" Good thing God doesn't forget about me or I would be one lost soul! We are supposed to pick up our cross DAILY and walk with God, but frankly, walking hurts - both physically and spiritially. So my good intentions turned into nothing. Ziltch, nada, zero..empty meaningless words. Much like my prayers have been lately. Missing in action. Empty hearted.
During the last five years God has seen me through the loss of my three of my parents, all within a year, survived a year long fight over a false accusation made against my husband, and moved to another church. I left behind friends and family and began to start over again.
I know about starting over. When I joined the military, I left my family and home behind to began a new life three thousand miles away. During my military career, I moved duty stations six times. Each time starting over at a new place, in a new house, at a new job, making new friends.
So every year I am compelled to get rid of the old and start over anew. But just how does one start over? Do you go back to where you left off or do you just pick a point and go from there? Starting at the beginning seems so overwhelming. Picking up where I left off might work, if I could remember where that was! I need to know that it is OK to start and not feel like a failure in Gods eyes. So why is it so hard for me this time? Is it something that you go through as you get older and when you are younger you just don't want to admit because you don't want anyone to think anything less of you? Or is it you need to change because God has changed you and want to give you more?
How much more can He give me? He gave His life for me. He gave me a faithful godly husband and two beautiful children. He gave me new friends, that are becoming family. Most of all, He has given me hope. Hope that tomorrow will be better than today, and the next day, better than the last. Hope is what anchors our soul. We just need to be steadfast in our faith and perserve.
Jesus is our only hope and the only friend I will ever need. When others turn their back on me, He turns me around and points me in the right directionHebrews 10:19-25, all about a call to persevere. We are to come confidently before God, draw near to Him with a sincere heart because He is our hope.